Philosophical Musings

Philosophical Musings

Monday, March 16, 2015

Historical Exploitation Contest!

Which ethnic or religious group suffered the MOST persecution or exploitation in history? If your ethnicity wins, you could be the big winner!

Have you been exploited & oppressed by another human being?

Ok, maybe not you, PERSONALLY, but your ancestors? If you can claim heritage to one of the groups in the list, you may have a chance to WIN big prizes!

Here are the qualifications for entry.  You must be a descendant of,
1. Quakers
2. Dutch indentured servants
3. African slaves
4. Native Americans
5. Chinese
6. Irish
7. German Palatinate or Huguenots
8. Scottish or English protestants
9. English prisoners in 17th century justice system
10. Japanese
11. Hawaiian
12. French Cajun or Acadian
13. Inuit
14. Italians
15 Sicilians
16. Jews
17. Russians
18 Scandinavians
19. Polish
20. Gypsy
21. East Indian
22. Middle eastern
23. Southeast Asian
24. Aborigine

There are others, but we don't have room for all the oppressed people of the world in this list. Call or write to see if your heritage qualifies. It probably does!

Now that you've qualified, let's get to the rules of the contest, & what you can win!

1. Write a 1 page description of the atrocities YOUR ethnicity has suffered. You cannot overstate it. Be dramatic & use lots of colorful language.
2. Be specific on what group, culture, or heritage caused your exploitation. This will offset any claims by their side of exploitation.

The ethnic group, religion, or culture that suffered the most, & had the least exploitation against others will win the prize as the Most Exploited, whiniest & most wretched people group ever!

Your prize, should you win, will be to take your rightful place as the Most Likely to become extinct, & your people group will be given reparations. For up to 1 full week, you will be given food & housing in a state of the art facility, after which you will be cleansed from humanity as unfit to reproduce.

But wait! There's more! The top essay writers will be published & their stories displayed for all to read. Your pathetic whinings will be there as a warning to all humanity on what NOT to be, if you want to survive in this world.

Now, you may say, 'Why would i want to be 'cleansed' from humanity?' Why, this is an opportunity of a lifetime! You get to save humanity from unsuitable genes, as well as cutting back on the damage to the earth from irrelevant, useless lives. You will save the planet & humanity through your cleansing! This is an opportunity that no responsible inhabitant of earth can pass up.

Enter now! Don't delay! Win big! Your ancestors are depending on you to eulogize them as the most pathetic people group, ever!

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